again your words cut through fog and fever of the moment and point me to wisdom virtues that nourish the life force of intelligence of all people. this genocide aided by the government I live under has become so difficult to justify and accept as our making the world safe, for whom, I ask. personally I have been challenged to do the work of repair with those I have ignored, those I have created conditions by which they have felt powerlessness and thrown under the bus. now I practice viewing and listening to this superior self as one who exploits and dismisses. I feel connected to the Palestine people struggle who wish to be able to live life's of meaning, love their families, connect with their heritage, celebrate with friends and loved ones. thank you Shambhavi.
Beautiful! And the Palestinian men, the Palestinian men… embodying, modeling the possible masculinities rooted in empathy, love and justice that bell hooks speaks of. I have been transformed by this.
Witnessing this genocide has definitely changed me, and probably in more ways I can recognise right now or put into words. I know it has played a role in quitting my job and wanting to do something different with my time and energy to earn a living. It has taken away my patience and my willingness to continue to put up with many things, and it is fuelling a rebellious side of me I haven't been in contact with for many, many years. Like a mirror, it is also reflecting back to me and helping me be more aware of the ever changing openness of my heart (now more open, now more close), and my conditioned ways to numb myself or seek comfort. And it has brought a desire for expressing care (for people, for animals and plants, for places and objects, for contributing to a new world order) that I haven't known before.
Bisan's incredible fierce, tender, intelligent, brave reporting has deeply affected me. I feel her calling forward more strength, open-heartedness, and clear-seeing in all of us. Watching this genocide over all these months I feel overall more permeable, which has also brought more capacity for delight and joy as well as grief. I feel less attached to the whole apparatus of self-protection. I'm also angry, realizing the total depravity and and corruption of this government I pay taxes to. I've been slow to come to this discovery, being a white person with a lot of privilege, but the game's up. I feel sobered but also so inspired by simple kindness and mutual aid. We take care of Us. That's powerful.
What you write about experiencing, the heightened reality and value of other people--I remember experiencing this after 9/11. I felt the world would change forever, and that I would never take people for granted again. Of course, I forgot a bit , but I also remembered a bit, and every time we are confronted with this kind of unnecessary heartbreak, it deepens. I find your words very clear and pertinent. Thank you.
My appetite for life is awakening. It's been dead, and or suppressed. I'm noticing that living a life that enables limitations has been very exhausting, not valuable, or fun. I've been mostly sleeping this spring. Palestine is a valuable life and seeing this juxtaposed with the IDF and what they value...and the seeing myself reflected in the two. Where do i want to go from here? My allegiance is shifting. I feel resistance to this shift too. Also, I feel more gratitude and awe for the communities here in Portland and Palestine, all the freedom fighters, everyone's work. and want to participate more. Feel less apathetic, less careless. Even my parents I'm starting to be proud of them. And I'm ashamed they don't have what I have. survivors guilt and maybe just sadness. Pausing more, and feeling, praying more and acting more in my ordinary life.
Lastly, at the beginning of this year I felt a yearning to be better. a churning thats been going on ever sense. noticing how my limitations effect the whole...how being unsconsious is no fun. I'm still isolating a little like punishing myself is the remedy for these, or holding other people in contempt, not seeing my carelessness or not seeing I'm the cause. But this is starting to shift. I'm starting to see I'm the cause. Most recently I stayed up all night because I saw a thread that went back a way. But this awareness is more enjoyable.
again your words cut through fog and fever of the moment and point me to wisdom virtues that nourish the life force of intelligence of all people. this genocide aided by the government I live under has become so difficult to justify and accept as our making the world safe, for whom, I ask. personally I have been challenged to do the work of repair with those I have ignored, those I have created conditions by which they have felt powerlessness and thrown under the bus. now I practice viewing and listening to this superior self as one who exploits and dismisses. I feel connected to the Palestine people struggle who wish to be able to live life's of meaning, love their families, connect with their heritage, celebrate with friends and loved ones. thank you Shambhavi.
Beautiful! And the Palestinian men, the Palestinian men… embodying, modeling the possible masculinities rooted in empathy, love and justice that bell hooks speaks of. I have been transformed by this.
That is so true. Thanks for sharing this.
Witnessing this genocide has definitely changed me, and probably in more ways I can recognise right now or put into words. I know it has played a role in quitting my job and wanting to do something different with my time and energy to earn a living. It has taken away my patience and my willingness to continue to put up with many things, and it is fuelling a rebellious side of me I haven't been in contact with for many, many years. Like a mirror, it is also reflecting back to me and helping me be more aware of the ever changing openness of my heart (now more open, now more close), and my conditioned ways to numb myself or seek comfort. And it has brought a desire for expressing care (for people, for animals and plants, for places and objects, for contributing to a new world order) that I haven't known before.
Thank you for the invitation to reflect on this.
Bisan's incredible fierce, tender, intelligent, brave reporting has deeply affected me. I feel her calling forward more strength, open-heartedness, and clear-seeing in all of us. Watching this genocide over all these months I feel overall more permeable, which has also brought more capacity for delight and joy as well as grief. I feel less attached to the whole apparatus of self-protection. I'm also angry, realizing the total depravity and and corruption of this government I pay taxes to. I've been slow to come to this discovery, being a white person with a lot of privilege, but the game's up. I feel sobered but also so inspired by simple kindness and mutual aid. We take care of Us. That's powerful.
What you write about experiencing, the heightened reality and value of other people--I remember experiencing this after 9/11. I felt the world would change forever, and that I would never take people for granted again. Of course, I forgot a bit , but I also remembered a bit, and every time we are confronted with this kind of unnecessary heartbreak, it deepens. I find your words very clear and pertinent. Thank you.
Thank you for keeping the conversation seen and heard. Here’s something to check out if you haven’t. Where Olive trees Weep.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2WzC4yvdvs5eUDCLH71ONw?si=X43XmEOgR3SxigDRAjS2MA
My appetite for life is awakening. It's been dead, and or suppressed. I'm noticing that living a life that enables limitations has been very exhausting, not valuable, or fun. I've been mostly sleeping this spring. Palestine is a valuable life and seeing this juxtaposed with the IDF and what they value...and the seeing myself reflected in the two. Where do i want to go from here? My allegiance is shifting. I feel resistance to this shift too. Also, I feel more gratitude and awe for the communities here in Portland and Palestine, all the freedom fighters, everyone's work. and want to participate more. Feel less apathetic, less careless. Even my parents I'm starting to be proud of them. And I'm ashamed they don't have what I have. survivors guilt and maybe just sadness. Pausing more, and feeling, praying more and acting more in my ordinary life.
Lastly, at the beginning of this year I felt a yearning to be better. a churning thats been going on ever sense. noticing how my limitations effect the whole...how being unsconsious is no fun. I'm still isolating a little like punishing myself is the remedy for these, or holding other people in contempt, not seeing my carelessness or not seeing I'm the cause. But this is starting to shift. I'm starting to see I'm the cause. Most recently I stayed up all night because I saw a thread that went back a way. But this awareness is more enjoyable.