This is What I'll See When I See You

after 558 days of this Nakba and 47 days of the total blockade and intensified genocide of the Palestinian people in Gaza

A photo

via @mosab_abutoha March 2025

I cannot stop looking at this photograph. Every story, every feeling I’ve experienced since October 7, 2023 seems to be written in it. An archeology of genocide, grief, and valor.

But know that I have chosen this photo in place of so many others more difficult to look at, including the photos that moved me to write the poem below.

This week’s post honors multiple expressions emerging from Gaza and in response to the genocide in Gaza. A photograph. A poem. The testimony of a 16 year old Gazan girl learning to speak herself and her world.

A poem

This is What I'll See When I See You

Today I saw
a fetus child charred and 
blown from its mother’s womb  
Today I saw 
a fetus child skinless and shiny red
heart a shrapnel hole
blown from its mother’s womb 
If you tell me you cannot look
If your equanimity looks like 
turning away
If you’d rather read books and pray
If you tell me nothing at all
these babies are what I’ll see
when I see you.
And all you haven’t said
And all you’ve shared when I 
wasn’t around
And all that’s  
waiting to be blown 
like shrapnel from the womb of my heart
will testify to
this burned and torn flesh
And those babies will rise up
in realness between us
and speak
the truest words

~Shambhavi Sarasvati, April 2025

Testimony

We are not numbers

We Are Not Numbers is a decade-long project that is cultivating, recording, and disseminating the words of young Gazans. The young writers are paired with mentors from around the world, creating connections and building expressive skills.

We Are Not Numbers is also a newly published book documenting the voices of Gazan Youth. It is available in the U.K. as of April 24th and can be pre-ordered in the U.S.

This writing-speaking about the reality of growing up in Gaza is by Yara Jouda at the age of 16. It was filmed in 2017.

Not quite ready to fire up a paid subscription, but want to show your appreciation?

Please join Shambhavi and the Jaya Kula community for satsang & kirtan every Sunday at 3:00pm Pacific. Come in person to 1215 SE 8th Ave, Portland, OR, or join Jaya Kula’s newsletter on Substack to get the Zoom link for satsang. You can also listen to my podcast—Satsang with Shambhavi—wherever podcasts are found.